Gestación y pandemia

Jocelyn Allen

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El trabajo de Jocelyn Allen (Birmingham, Reino Unido, 1988) se desarrolla, principalmente, a través del autorretrato, con el que explora su imagen corporal y las relaciones entre autoestima, autoconfianza y ansiedad en su primer embarazo bajo condiciones impuestas en Europa por la contingencia sanitaria. Proyectos como Your Mind & Body Is All That You’ve Got parts I & II le han permitido aceptar su cuerpo, lo que llevó a Allen a realizar la serie Covering The Carpet, una performance para ocultar su vello púbico. En Fluido damos muestra de su trabajo más reciente a partir de las series Waiting For the Things In A Time When You Rarely Wait For Things (en proceso), Puke Portraits y Ulterior Monologue.

2nd
from the series Puke Portraits

#YesterdayIAvoidedHavingAnythingBesidesWaterBefore9
#IGotMyFluJabWhichTook5Minutes
#OneOfTheQuestionsTheyAskedMeWasAreYouAllergicToEgg
#IHadBeenEatingOneInTheCarOnTheWayThereSoISaidIHopeNot
#TiagoSaidHeWouldDropMeOffAsTheWeatherWasSoBadButWeGotOutsideAndItWasFine
#ButItWasTooLateForMeToWalk
#AnywaysIFeltSickThisMorning
#SoIHadSomeGingerTea
#IDidNotEvenFinishItBeforeIWentToHangOutInTheBathroom
#IAmWritingThisInTheEveningNowAndIAmFeelingSuperSick
#FunTimes
#IGotAnAppointmentForMyFirstScanButItIsNotFor5Weeks
#ItWouldHaveBeen6WeeksButICouldNotDoTheFirstDayAndTimeTheySent
#TheyDoNotAskYou
#TheyJustSendYouALetter
#AndIfYouCanNotMakeItYouHaveToCallThem
#AndTheyChangeTheAppointment
#AndThenTheySendOutAnotherLetter
#ItSeemsABitWasteful
#ButIAlsoGetThatTheyDoNotWantToHave100sOfCallsAllTheTimeAboutAppointments
#AsLessChangeTheAppointmentsThanTheyBookIGuess
#TheySendOutAFlyerSayingYouCanPayForExtraScans
#AndYouCanAlsoBuyAGenderRevealCannonWhichIsFunny
#YouCanAlsoGetGenderRevealScratchCardsWhichAlsoSoundsFunny
#GenderRevealPartiesSoundFunButTheyAlsoSeemABitRidiculousAndWastefulAtTimes
#IGuessThereAreEcoWaysOfDoingThem
#IWillNotBeHavingOneAnyways
#YouWillJustHaveToWait
#MeIncludedForNow

It Seems Like Everyone Is Pregnant Except Me
from the series Ulterior Monologue

#IFeelAwkwardPostingThisWithTheTitleIGaveItTwoWeeksAgo
#ItWasABitOfAJokeButNowIdProbablyNameItSomethingElse
#WasItReallyEvenAJokeOrAreYouJustDeflecting
#OkayIFeltItButIveLostInterestNow
#IDontUnderstandHowPeopleHaveTimeToBePregnant
#AndItFeelsLikePostingSomethingLikeThisIsJustSayingImAHiringRisk
#AtLeastThatsOneThingThatMostGuysDontHaveToWorryAbout
#BeingPregnantDoesntSoundLikeMuchFun
#AreYouTryingToMakeYourselfFeelBetter
#WellEveryoneHasDifferentExperiencesSoYouDontKnowWhatYoureGonnaGet
#PeriodsAreRubbish
#ThatsTrueIThinkTheyreGettingWorseAsIGetOlderToo
#MyDreamsAreUsuallyReallyVividAndWeirdThough
#AndThenImNotLookingForwardToTheMenopauseEither
#AllTheOptionsAreLameThoughOneMayGiveYouABaby
#ProsAndCons
#WhoHasTimeForABabyThough
#IFeelLikeIDont
#IGuessYouMakeItWork
#SometimesIWishWeLivedInTimesThatWereSimplerAndWeJustLookedAtTheStarsMore
#TheresSoMuchLightPollutionICantSeeThemAnyways
#IGuessSomePeopleMakeTheirLivesSimple
#TurningOffTheCommentsAsIDontWantCommentsOnThis
#TryingToFindTheWordsToExplainWhy
#IThinkIJustKnowWhatKindOfCommentsIdGet
#LetsChatInPersonNextTimeInstead
#IOriginallyTookThisToBeAFunImageAndNowIFeelItsReallySerious

The Day After I Found Out (4+ weeks)

#SoIAmGoingThroughMyPicturesACoupleOfMonthsAfterTryingToEditTheProjectSoFar
#AndApparentlyIHaveBeenWritingHashtagsForEveryShootOnTheDayApartFromThisOne
#WritingThemOnTheDayIsMuchBetterButOhWell
#ILikeThatIAmWearingThisDress
#NotSureIfItWasAnAccidentOrOnPurpose
#ButItIsTheSameDressAsTheOneIAmWearingInMyPictureCalled
#ItSeemsLikeEveryoneIsPregnantExceptMe
#InMySeriesCalledUlteriorMonologue
#WhichIsAboutWantingToTalkAboutWantingToBePregnantButFeelingTooAwkwardTo
#TheDayBeforeWeHadGoneFoodShopping
#IHadBoughtCheeseThatYouAreNotSupposedToEatIfYouArePregnant
#AndTwoPregnancyTests
#IBoughtTheTestsAsIMyPeriodWasLateAndIWasHopeful
#ButBoughtTheCheeseAsIWasNotThatHopeful
#WellActuallyIWasConfusedAsItHadStartedAndStopped
#IOnlyHadATinyBitOfTheCheeseAsIWasLikeWellWhatIf
#AndThenTriedToDoATest
#ButForgotIWasGoingToDoOne
#SoIWasJustInTheBathroomForAgesDrinkingLotsOfWaterAndWaiting
#FunTimes
#ThenICameOutOfTheBathroomInShockIThink
#AndCalledTiagoIntoTheBathroomAsWeWereAtMyNans
#HeSaidHeDidNotEvenKnowWhatWasTheResultByLookingAtTheTest
#WritingThisNowIHaveABitOfABump
#OnTheDayITookAPictureOfMyBellyAndToBeFairIThoughtILookedABitPregnant
#ButMyBellyUsuallyLookedLikeThat
#AndNowIKnowMyFoodBabiesLookABitDifferentToABabyBump
#ButFoodBabiesWithABabyBumpJustLookLikeABigBabyBump
#AnywaysHereIWasAbout4AndABitWeeksPregnantOrSoTheFolderTellsMe
#IFindItOddTheWayTheyCalculateItAsPartOfThatIWasNotPregnant

I Can Tell My Body Is Already Changing (6 weeks)

#WellWeHadBeenTryingToGetPregnantSinceTheStartOfTheYear
#WeHaveAWeddingToGoToInPortugalInJulyNextYearSoIThoughtWeShouldPauseThingsForABit
#ButTiagoSaidWeWereBetterOffTrying
#AndToBeFairIThoughtICouldNotGetPregnant
#EvenThoughIHadABloodTestAtOvulationOnceAndTheySaidAllWasGood
#SoIDecidedIWantedToBeLessStressedOutInLifeSoIStartedToMakeAnEffortToBeMoreRelaxed
#WhenMyPeriodWas4DaysLateIKnowSomethingWasUp
#SoIBoughtATest
#AndIForgotIWasGoingToDoOneSoIHadToKeepDrinkingWaterAndEventuallyIManagedToGetAResultFromTheDamnThing
#AndTheCrossCameUpPrettyQuickThen
#AndIWasNotThatSurprised
#IDidNotHaveMuchOfAReaction
#IWasJustRelievedToKnowICouldGetPregnant
#AndThenIJustGotRealStressedAboutWhatIfThingsGoWrong
#IDoNotKnowHowPeopleDealtWithPregnanciesPreInternet
#AnythingAndIAmCheckingIsThisNormal
#AnywaysICanTellMyBodyIsAlreadyChanging
#AndIHaveBeenFeelingSick
#MorningSicknessIsALieItStrikesAtAnytime
#ButItIsEarlyDaysForMeSoItIsNotYetThatBad
#IKnowINeedToEatMoreCalciumSoIAmIndulgingInCheddarOnSandwiches
#WasTryingToCutOutSugarButWasEatingChutneyAndPickleSoAmHavingMoreMarmiteThanThoseNow
#AndIAmGoingOffFoods
#LikeDaalOrDalOrDahlWhichWeEatAllTheTimeUsually
#AndMyFavouriteLunchOfASpicyBeanBurgerWithGherkinsTomatoesAndHoumousIsNotAsGreatAsItUsedToBe
#AndIHaveEatenThatWeeklyForYears
#AndIMeanYEARS
#AndICanNotDrinkMostOfMyLargeCollectionOfHerbalTeas
#AsEverythingHasLicoriceInIt
#SoItIsRooibosAndHoneybushEverydayForNowUntilIFindOtherOnes

I Have Nothing To Show Yet (7 weeks)

#ItIsColdNowSoIAmWearingExtraLayers
#IHaveNothingToShowYet
#OrMaybeIDoButIAmSureIHaveLookedTheSameAsThisEveryTimeIHaveEatenForManyYear
#IHaveLookedMorePregnantBeforeAfterOrderingAnIndianTakeawayAndNotBeingAbleToStop
#AtChristmas2018MyParentsThoughtIWasPregnantAsIWasWearingBaggyClothing
#AndIChooseComfortOverFashion
#YouKnowMe
#ThoughIWouldNotMindLookingALittleBetter
#IJustHateClothesShopping
#AndNowIsNotTheTimeToStartGettingIntoClothesMore
#BecauseTheyEitherWillNotFitMeForLongOrTheyWillNotFitMeAfter
#AGoodReasonForBaggierClothingThisWinterThoughIsToHideMyGrowingBoobs
#IToldAFriendThatIAmPregnantAndSheSaidSheThoughtMyBoobsLookedBiggerAndThisWasTwoWeeksAgo
#IHaveAlwaysHadAWeirdRelationshipWithThem
#BeingToldInHighSchoolThatIWasTwoParacetomolsOnAnIroningBoard
#AndBeingUpsetButAlsoNotCaringAsIWasLikeBoobsAreJustForBabiesAnyways
#AndTheIdeaOfMeWithBiggerBoobsWasJustWeird
#BeingToldByGuysThatTheyUsuallyDateGirlsWithBiggerBoobs
#Lol
#ButIThinkBoobsBringAttentionAndIDoLikeToBeInvisible
#IReallyCanNotImagineMySelfHavingBigBoobs
#AndGoingOutWithThemOnDisplay
#NoOffenceToOtherPeopleWhoShowTheirsOff
#TheyLookGoodOnYouButTheyLookWeirdAsHellOnMe
#ThisPostHasTooManyBoobs
#NotSureIfIPreferBoobsOrBreasts
#BreastsJustSoundsLikeMeatRightNowAndThatIsMakingMeFeelSickEvenThoughIHadMeatCravingsYesterdayAndIAmVegetarian
#IThinkHowIFeelTowardsMyBodyDuringAndAfterMyPregnancyWillBeInteresting
#ParticularlyAsPregnancyIsSeenAsBeautifulAndMyBodyGrowingIsForAGoodThingButThenAsSoonAsYouGiveBirthThereIsALotOfPressureToBeAsYouWereAgain
#IJustWantToLookAfterMyselfAndMyBodyAsBestAsICan

Failed Blood Tests (7 and a half-ish weeks)

#SoTheyTriedToTakeMyBloodAndFailed
#ProbablyBecauseItWas10amAndIHadNotEatenYet
#AsIHadBeenSickThatMorningAndItPutMeOff
#ItSeemsSoEarlyToBeTalkingAboutOptions
#WhereIWantToGiveBirthWhenItSeemsSoEarlyAndIDoNotKnowTheFullFacts
#TheMidwifeMentionedAHomeBirth
#ILikeTheIdeaOfItButImmediatelyIJustThoughtAboutTheNeighboursAndWhatTheyWouldThink
#LivingInAFlatWithNeighboursOnMostSidesAndUpAndDownDoesNotMakeItSoAppealing
#ButIDoNotHearMuchFromThem
#ApartFromOneNeighbourWhoCoughsLoudly
#AndOnceICouldHearOneVomitingThroughTheVents
#WhichIsWhatIWorriedThisMorningWhenIWasBeingSick
#TIsWorriedAboutTheRisksOfHomeBirth
#SoINeedToFindHimSomeInfo
#OtherPeopleHaveExpressedTheirDisapproval
#WhichUpsetsMe
#AsItIsSoEarlyAndItIsNotSetInStoneYet
#ButThatIsMyPersonalPreference
#AndIAmTheOneGivingBirth
#AndIWantToFeelAsRelaxedAndComfortableAsPossibleToDoTheJobThatPeopleHaveBeenDoingForThousandsOfYears
#AsICanNotBeBotheredWithBeingSuperStressedOut
#LikeISaidMyMainConcernIsTheNeighbours
#SoLetUsHopeForAShortLabourThatIsMidDayAndNotMidNight
#ButItMightNotHappen
#MaybeIWillGoToTheHospitalOrABirthingCentre
#ABirthingPoolIsAllIReallyWant
#AsIWillNotGetASummerHolidaySoICanPretendIAmInTheSeaWhichIsWhereIFeelMostAtPeace
#FingersCrossedThatAllGoesWellFromHere
#ItAllSeemsTooEarlyButTodayMadeThingsABitMoreReal
#IDoNotKnowHowIGotTheScratchOnMyBelly

I Worry That People Will Think I Am Drunk Or Hungover If I Am Sick In The Street (8 Weeks)

#8Weeks
#ThatMeansIHaveKnownForNearly4WeeksNow
#ItIsSoWeird
#IThinkIAmGettingALittleLessFreakedOutNow
#ThoughCrampsAndStuffOccasionallyDoMakeMeWinceAndWorry
#ThenIRememberHowOftenIHaveExperiencedThem
#TheSicknessThingIsAlreadyGettingOld
#IHaveBeenFeelingMoreSickInTheEvenings
#IDoNotMindBeingSickInTheMorningSoMuchAsIHaveNotEatenYetAndNowJustTryToDrinkWaterBeforeEightThirty
#OnceIAmSickInTheMorningIFeelFineAndNowItIsBecomingWeirdlyReassuring
#LikeOkayIMustStillBePregnantAsMyBodyIsDoingThatSickThing
#IJustDoNotWantToGetCaughtOutAndBeSickOutsideOfOurFlat
#IWorryThatPeopleWillThinkIAmDrunkOrHungoverIfIAmSickInTheStreet
#BeingSickOnATrainIsMyMainWorry
#IBoughtSomeProperSickBagsYesterday
#ButINeedToJustCarryOneAroundWithMe
#LikeAReallyCoolKid
#RegisteredForTheDentistToday
#TheyWereLikeDoYouPay
#ISaidIUsuallyDoButIAmPregnantAtTheMoment
#AtTheMomentSeemsToBeSomethingThatISayALot
#IAmStillCautious
#IToldOneMorePersonThisWeekThatIAmPregnant
#BecauseIFeltSoSickAndWeWereGoingToMeetTiagoAndHisFriendAndIThoughtTiagosFriendWouldSayCongratsWhenHeSawMeWhichHeDid
#IUnderstandTheNotTellingLotsOfPeopleButIfItIsToProtectMeThenItIsMoreAwkwardNotTalkingAboutThingsThanTalkingAboutThem
#AwkwardAsInKeepingSecretsAndKeepingThoughtsBackFromPeople
#TalkingToPeopleSayingThatIAmMakingWorkAboutTryingToGetPregnant
#WhichIWasDoingButNowIAmPregnantSoICanNotBeTrueAboutWhatIAmWorkingOnAtTheMoment
#IAmSeeingSomeFriendsNextWeekSoIAmGuessingIWillTellThemThenAsOtherwiseIMightNotSeeThemFaceToFaceAgainForAWhileAndSeeingPeoplesReactionsIsMostOfTheFun
#WhenWeWereEngagedIOnlyToldPeopleFaceToFaceBeforeWeActuallyGotMarried

Bleeding Worry (9 Weeks)

#SoLastNightThingsFeltABitFunny
#AndIWasFeelingTooScaredToGoToTheBathroom
#AfterAWhileIWentAsIWantedToBrushMyTeeth
#AndThereWasBlood
#NotLoadsButMoreThanIHaveBledSoFarAndAReallyIntenseColour
#IWasHavingCramps
#IStillHaveSomeCrampsAndWeirdFeelings
#ItCouldBeAFewThings
#HadABusyWeekWhichIsWhyIDecidedThatINeededToStayInAndRestLastNight
#YesterdayIAccidentallyJabbedMyselfInTheStomachWithMyPhoneInMyPocket
#IAteSomethingFromAJarThatWas3WeeksOutOfDate
#ThatIsAwkwardToAdmitButItWasVegetablesAndIHadJustOpenedIt
#IUsedALotOfMoisturiserOnMyBodyWhenIUsuallyRarelyUseAny
#IFeelLikeThereWasSomethingElseButICanNotRemember
#ItCouldAllBeFineButIAmExpectingTheWorst
#LuckilyIHaveAnAppointmentForThisAfternoonAtTheHospital
#MyLeafletSaidToCallIfIHaveAnyBleedingOrPain
#AsThoughItIsNotUncommonItNeedsToBeCheckedOut
#CalledTheNumberAndOption1WasEmergency
#IFeltAwkwardPressing1SoIPressedForAllOtherEnquiriesAndThenShePutMeThroughToTheEmergencyLine
#ItIsInAFewHoursButThisMorningIsDraggingSoMuch
#IWasNotSickToday
#MyBoobsAreNotSore
#MyNoseDoesNotFeelFull
#FeelsLikeMostOfMySymptomsHaveGone
#WeCanOnlyWaitAndSee
#LastNightIJustCriedInTiagosArms
#InThePhotoIAmHoldingMyFolderOfNotesThatINeedToTakeToEveryAppointment
#DuringTheShootItFeltLikeSomethingWasJabbingMe
#IDoNotKnowWhatNormalIsSupposedToFeelLikeWhenPregnant

I Keep Looking At The Scan As I Can Not Believe It (9 and a half weeks)

#SoWeWentToTheHospital
#HadAnAppointmentButWaitedNearlyAnHour
#MaybeBecauseOtherPeopleNeededLookingAtMoreUrgently
#SomePeopleDidLookLikeTheyWereInALotOfPain
#IThoughtIShouldHaveAFullBladderIfTheyDidAScan
#SoIWasBurstingForTheToilet
#TheyFinallyCalledMeAndAskedIfINeededToGoToTheLoo
#SoThatWasDiscomfortForNoReasonAsItWasAnInternalExam
#ThePersonExaminingMeWasBeingTestedSoThereWere3PeopleInTheRoomPlusTiago
#TheyGaveMeASheetForDignityAndIApologisedForHavingHairyLegsThoughTheySaidNothingInReply
#TheySaidTheyWereTryingToGiveMeDignityButIAmUsedToHavingMoreInvasiveExaminationsThatInvolveSpeculumsSoIWasNotSureWhereTheSheetWasMeantToBe
#TiagoSawTheToolTheyWereGoingToUseAndIWasLikeWelcomeToAWomansWorld
#ItWasNotThatBadJustABitColdAndTheWaitingRoomHadBeenSoHot
#BeforeLongTheyTurnedTheScreenAndShowedUsTheLittleHumanInsideOfMe
#SheSaidCanYouSeeTheFlickerThatIsTheHeartbeat
#AndIStartedToCryHappyTearsAsIWasRelievedAndItWasSoSurreal
#AndISaidItIsSoWeirdAsIThoughtPregnancyWasSomethingThatHappenedToOtherPeopleAndNotMeAndItIsSoWeirdSeeingThatLittleThingInsideOfMe
#SheLookedAroundThoroughly
#ItWasGoodThatSheHadSomeoneElseTalkingToHerAsIKnowThatTheyBothHadAGoodLookAndDidNotSeeAnyIssues
#TheTesterSaidIHadTheBestOvariesThatSheHadSeenTodayAndCalledThemBeautiful
#SheGaveUsAPicture
#TheySaidThatIfItHappensAgainIShouldBookAnotherAppointment
#AsBleedingIsNotUncommonButItStillIsNotNormal
#IAmGladTheyWereEncouragingAsIWouldNotWantToBeSeenAsAnnoying
#IHaveBledALittleSinceButIGuessItIsBecauseTheyHadThatToolInsideMeForAtLeast10Minutes
#IThoughtIWas9WeeksTodayButTheySaidItIsMoreLike9DaysAnd4Or5Days
#IAmGuessingItWillChangeAgainButThatMeansIAmNearlyAQuarterOfTheWayThroughIfAllGoesWell
#TimeHasPassedQuickly
#IKeepLookingAtTheScanAsICanNotBelieveIt
#NanThinksItIsABoyAsSheSaysTheyCauseTroubleFromTheStart

Bloody Blood Tests (10 weeks)

#WhatAWasteOfTime
#LuckilyTiagoCouldDropMeOffAndPickMeUpOrItWouldHaveTakenUpMoreOfMyMorningThanItAlreadyDid
#WeGotToTheHospitalEarlyAndDroveRoundTheWholeMultistoryCarParkAndCouldNotGetASpace
#AnnoyinglyThereWereAFewCarsInFrontOfUsAndWeWatchedThemGetTheLastSpaces
#InTheEndIGotOutOfTheCarAndLeftTiagoToTryToFindASpace
#HeDidNotSoHeWentToAShop
#ICouldNotFindTheRightBuilding
#KeptLookingAtMaps
#NoneOfTheSignsSaidTheBuildingINeeded
#InTheEndIHadToUseGoogleMaps
#IFinallyFoundIt
#WaitingAroundButIDidNotSignInSoIWasLikeHowDoTheyKnowIAmHere
#WentBackToReceptionAndTheySaidToJustGoIn
#StoodByTheDoorAndThePersonCameOver
#WentInAndShowedHerMyFolderAndSheSaidAreYouHavingScreenings
#Yes
#SoWhyDidSheMakeYouComeHereAsAtYourNextScanTheyWillDoBloodTests
#SheWasSoAnnoyed
#ThenIWasAnnoyedAsItWasAWasteOfTimeForUsAll
#LuckilyMyBloodCameOutThisTime
#NotThatItWouldHaveMattered
#IHadEatenAndDrankEnoughAndExercisedAndItWasNotSoEarlyInTheMorning
#AnnoyedForTiagoWastingHisTimeAndForMe
#LuckilyTodayWasADayForMyOwnStuffSoIJustWastedMyOwnTime
#ButIHaveSoMuchThatIWantToGetDone
#WasAWasteOfEveryonesTimeAndResources
#IAmLuckyAsItWasFreeForMe
#ButItIsWastingEveryonesMoney
#SoAnnoyed
#SoWillHaveBloodTakenAgainInLessThanAMonthsTime

I Feel Like My Body Has A Big Job To Perform Now (11 weeks)

#FeelingConcernedAsIHaveNotFeltSickThisEveningButIFeltSickDuringTheDay
#MaybeIHaveJustEatenEnoughDinner
#IWillProbablyFeelSickInAnHour
#IHeardThatSourSweetsAreGoodForSickness
#IFoundSomeGoodVeggieSweets
#DoNotThinkTheyReallyHelpedWithTheSicknessButTheyTasteGood
#Anyways
#ThisTextIsSupposedToBeAboutSpots
#WhenIHadTheCoilISuddenlyStartedToGetLotsOfSpotsOnMyScalp
#IFiguredItWasDueToTooMuchCopperInMyDietAndInMyBody
#SoMaybeIHaveBeenEatingALotOfThingsThatHaveCopperInThem
#ButIDoubtIt
#IGuessTheSpotsAreMoreToDoWithHormones
#MyFaceFeelsSpottierTooButIThinkThatHasALotToDoWithTheWeather
#AsMySkinGetsWorseThanNormalInTheWinter
#ButIHaveBigSpotsOnMyHairline
#INoticedThemTheOtherDayButTheySeemBiggerNow
#FunTimes
#MaybeINeedToWashMyHairMoreAndIHaveBeenWearingAHat
#SoMaybeThatPlaysAPartInIt
#CanNotBelieveIAm11WeeksNow
#StillNervous
#TiagoCanNotLieToSaveHisLifeSoHeToldAFewPeopleYesterday
#SoTheNumberOfPeopleWhoKnowHasNowGrown
#IJustFeelMorePressureNow
#NoOneIsPuttingPressureOnMe
#ButIFeelLikeMyBodyHasABigJobToPerformNow
#AndIAmNervousThatThereIsPlentyOfTimeForThingsToGoWrong
#NotFeelingSickNowIsABitWorrying
#ButIThinkThatIWillGoBrushMyTeethNowAndThatWillProbablyMakeMeFeelSick

I Definitely Have A Belly Developing, But I’m Not Sure If It Is Baby Or Food Or Both (11 and a half-ish weeks)

#IAmStillBeingSickInTheMorning
#IAmStillFeelingSickInTheAfternoon
#ISeemToNotFeelSickInTheEveningAnymore
#BeingSickIsAnnoyinglyReassuringButIHaveTalkedAboutThatALotAlready
#AnotherChangeIsMyBoobs
#INoticedThatTheyHadGrownEarlyOn
#NowTheyJustSeemNormalToMe
#TheyAreWayMoreVeinyThanUsualThough
#INeedToGoBraShoppingButIHateBraShoppingNormally
#IJustToGetFittedButIDoNotWantTo
#IHaveNeverLikedBraShoppingButIWillMakeTheEffortToGoSoon
#MyNipplesAreGettingSoreAndHaveDefinitelyChangedColour
#IHaveToPutBalmOnThemToTryToHelpOtherwiseTheyHurt
#SomeSpotThatIHadAgesAgoAndShouldHaveSqueezedButDidNotSoItAddedABitToMyNippleHasAlsoGotBigger
#ItIsSoWeird
#ThatIsHowIKnowMyNipplesAreDifferent
#ItLooksLikeIHaveAnotherNippleGrowingOnMyNipple
#MaybeIShouldGetItCheckedOut
#IHaveTwoMolesOnOneNippleAndItLooksLikeIUsedToHaveAPiercing
#NeverNoticedThatBefore
#IGuessIHaveNotPhotographedMyNipplesSoIntimatelyBefore
#IDoNotKnowIfIWillShowThesePixButIGuessIWillAsIThinkSomeOfThemAreQuiteNice
#IDefinitelyHaveABellyDeveloping
#NotSureIfItIsBabyOrFoodOrABitOfBoth
#YouAreNotSupposedToEatMoreButItIsWinterSoIUsuallyEatMoreAndIfIFeelHungryThenIFeelSickSoIAmEatingMore
#IBoughtSomeVeganSourSweetsToSeeIfTheyHelpWithMorningSicknessAndIDoNotKnowButTheyAreSuperTasty
#OtherThanThatIAmTryingToEatMoreHealthyFoodOrHealthierVersionsOfThingsLikeBakedCrisps
#ILoveThatDifferentSitesSayDifferentThingsAboutTheSizeOfTheFetusNow
#11WeeksIsALargeStrawberryAnApricotOrABrusselSprout

Resting, Taking Vitamins, Staying Hydrated, Eating Fruit & Veg (13 weeks)

#IHaveBeenIllFor5DaysNow
#IThinkItIsDueToTryingToDoTooMuch
#AndBeingAroundPeopleWhoWereIllLastWeek
#TiagoToldMeOffTheOtherDayForBeingAroundIllPeople
#IKnewIWasGoingToGetIllAtSomePoint
#IGetIllOnceInAWhile
#AndApparentlyWhenYouArePregnantYourImmuneSystemIsLower
#HeWasIllTheOtherWeekAndIDidNotGetIt
#ButItProbablyWeakenedMyDefences
#HeSaidHeFindsItFrustratingAsHeHasNoControlOverThePregnancy
#WhichIUnderstand
#ButIKnowIAmLuckyAsIDoNotHaveAFullTimeJob
#AndSomePeopleWorkFullTimeOnTheirFeetTheWholeTime
#SoIGetToRestMoreThanMost
#ItIsFrustratingForMeAsICanNotDoAsMuchAsIUsedTo
#OrMaybeThatIsBecauseIAmIllRightNow
#ThoughIFeltLikeIWasBeingMoreProductiveBefore
#AnywaysWeAreBothWorriedAboutHowMeBeingIllWillAffectTheBaby
#ButIfBadThingsHappenedWheneverAnyonePregnantHadAColdThenHumansWouldBeExtinctByNowSurely
#IAmDoingTheBestICanToGetBetter
#RestingTakingVitaminsStayingHydratedEatingFruitAndVegEtc
#IHaveAScanTomorrowSoThatIsComfortingForUsBothAnyways
#IAmABitNervous
#IHaveDaydreamsOfThemTurningAroundToSayItIsBadNews
#ButINeedToRelaxAndJustRestABitMore
#TheMostAnnoyingThingAboutBeingIllIsHavingBrokenSleepDuringTheNight
#ButIGuessThatIsGoodPracticeForHavingANewborn
#MyHairIsGreasyInThePictureAsIHadNotWashedItForAWeek
#IWashedItStraightAfterBecauseOfThisScanTomorrow
#GoingToBackupThisShootThenHaveALieDown

My Due Date Got Put Back To Its Original One (Nearly 13 weeks)

#SoIHadMy12WeekScanToday
#AndTheyPutMeBackToMyOriginalDueDate
#WhichMeansIAmNearly13Weeks
#TheAppointmentWasQuiteEarlyInTheMorning
#WhichIsGoodForGettingOnWithTheDay
#ButBadIfYouAreSupposedToDrink2PintsOfWaterAnHourBefore
#AsWellAsEatWhenYouHaveMorningSickness
#IDidNotDrinkEnoughSoHeCouldNotTakeMeasurementsProperly
#ButHeCheckedThatThereWere2ArmsAnd2Legs
#AndWeWereRelievedToSeeAHeartbeatAsIHaveBeenIll
#TheGuyWasABitAnnoyedButHeSaidToGoDrinkWaterAndHeWouldTryToSeeMeIn40MinutesOrSo
#SoIWentAndDrankALotOfWaterButNotTooMuchThatIfIWaited40MinutesThenIWouldNeedTheToiletBadly
#After25MinsHeCameOutAndSaidTheNextPersonHadNotShowedUpSoWeCouldTryAgain
#INeededTheToilet
#HeSaysMyWombSeemsQuiteLowDownInGeneralSoINeedToDrinkMoreForScans
#HeManagedToTakeTheMeasurementsAndToldMeMyNewOldDueDate
#ThenIHadToHaveBloodsTakenAgain
#ItHurtWayMoreThanTheOtherTimes
#GoodJobIHadDrankALotOfWaterAndManagedToEat
#ItCameOutQuiteEasily
#TheWomanWasNice
#SheSaidSomeoneCalledAndSaidTheyHadNorovirusButWantedToKnowIfTheyCouldComeInAnyways
#IAmGladSheToldThemNo
#IAmBoredOfBeingIllAndSick
#ThisMorningWasSickNumber42
#IFeltSoSickThisEveningToo
#MorningSicknessIsSoMuchBetterThanEveningSickness
#IAmRelievedThatTheBabyIsFineButIAmAlsoFeelingAnxiousToo
#HopefullyTheScreeningResultsAreOkay
#IGuessWeJustHaveToWaitAndSee

90% Of My Social Media Advertising Now Is To Do With Pregnancy (Nearly 13 Weeks)

#ThisMorningINoticedThatIHadABigBruiseOnTheSideOfMyBumSlashTopOfMyHip
#ThenINoticedSomeStretchMarks
#TheStretchMarksMightJustBeFromMyUsualChangingWeightAndExercisingAsIHaveHadThemThereBefore
#OrItCouldBeDoToPregnancyOrABitOfBoth
#NinetyPercentOfMySocialMediaAdvertisingNowIsToDoWithPregnancy
#AndALotOfItIsToDoWithGettingRidOfStretchMarks
#EvenAtTheHospitalYesterdayThereWasAScreenWithAdvertisingOnItAndTheyWereTryingToSellSomeStretchMarkReductionDevice
#IFilledInSomeSurveyTodayToDoWithBodyImageAndPregnancy
#ToBeFairIAmQuiteEarlyAlongButItWasTalkingAboutThePressuresToLookGoodAndHowIFeltBeforePregnancyVersusNow
#ItWasBoringAsHellAndIWasSadToSeeThereWasNoOtherCommentsBox
#IWantedToTalkAboutThePressureIFeelAlreadyToNotHaveStretchMarksAndWhatever
#SomeoneAlreadyBoughtMeSomeBodyMassageStuffToHelpPreventThem
#WhichDoesSmellNiceAndFeelsNice
#ButIWeirdlyWantToHaveSomeStretchMarksOrAtLeastIFeelThatWayRightNow
#MaybeThatIsDumbButIHaveAlwaysCalledThemTigerStripes
#ThoughToBeFairThereAreTheLittleOnesAndThereAreThoseBigRedOnesWhichActuallyLookPainfulSoYeahIDoNotWantThoseOnesReally
#InTheLastWeekOnFacebookIHaveHadAdsForPregnancyForBabyStuffForToddlerStuffForIVFStuffForDoIWantToDonateEggsStuffForDoIWantToBeASurrogateStuff
#ItIsABitBloodyMuch
#YesIAmSavingLinksToThingsAndOnInstagramThoughIDoNotWantToBuyAnythingUntil6MonthsAlong
#INeverNoticedBeforeHowFrequentAdsAreOnInstagram
#Every3Or4PostsOrStoriesWhichJustFeelsABitMuch
#SuperExpensiveBabyStuffOrReallyExpensiveClothes
#OrPuttingPressureOnWomenToLookACertainWayDuringPregnancyOrStraightAfter
#IHaveReadThatStretchMarksAreDownToGeneticsMoreThanAnythingAndALotOfProductsHaveNotBeenClinicallyProvenToWork
#ThereWasAnAdForADeviceToHelpYouGetAFlatStomachAfterBirthOnFacebook
#TheWomanLookedLikeYourUsualSmallModelAndHadASmallBump
#MostOfTheCommentsWereJustComplainingAboutHowTheWomenInTheseAdsAreAlwaysTinyAnyways
#IJustWantToSeeMorePositiveThingsAboutStretchMarksAndAfterPregnancy
#IWouldRatherHaveAdsForOtherThingsLikeFoodOrHolidaysOrThingsICanIgnoreButObviouslyThatIsNotHowAdvertisingWorks
#IRealiseThatThisPictureIsMoreAboutMyBruiseThanStretchMarks

I Feel Like All I Write About At The Moment Is Vomit (13 weeks)

#IFeelLikeAllIWriteAboutAtTheMomentIsVomit #IHad2SickFreeDaysWhichWasMyLongestTimeSinceBeforeMyMorningSicknessBegan
#ThenIWasSickAt4AM
#AndItWasTheFirstOf9TimesInOneDay
#IAteABigMealOfRiceAndBeansTheNightBefore
#MyBrotherInLawLoadedMyPlateAndIForgotThatIHadBeenEatingSmallMealsALotLately
#IAteALotForBreakfastToo
#IWokeUpWithSuchAHeavyStomachThatIKnewTheOnlyWayIWouldFeelBetterWasToThrowUp
#ThenIHadToGoAgain20MinutesLater
#AndAnother20MinutesLater
#TiagoWentIntoTownToGetRehydrationSalts
#HeHadNeverHeardOfThemAndCameBackWith3SmallCartonsThatCostHim12Euros
#SoIDrankTheFirstVerySlowlyButIThinkItWentIntoTheToilet
#IFeltSoWeakAndIWasWorriedAboutTheBaby
#SoEvenAfterBeingSickIWouldTryToEatAgain
#EventuallyInTheEveningIManagedToKeepADrinkDown
#ThenTiagoStartedToBeSickAndIKnewItWasNotMorningSickness
#IThoughtMaybeItWasAStomachBugButIThoughtTheRiceHadJustUpsetMeALot
#ItRemindedMeOfBeingOnACaravanHolidayAtTheEndOfMiddleSchoolOrEarlyHighSchoolWhereIJustThrewUpFor24Hours
#IWouldNotWishSicknessOnMyWorstEnemy
#IFeltSoWeakAndHorrible
#IHopeIEnterTheNiceStageOfPregnancySoon
#IAmFeelingConcernedForTheBaby
#IAmStillNotCompletelyOverMyCold
#ItIsNiceBeingSomewhereSunnyForAWeek
#ButThereIsNothingLikeBeingAtHomeWithMyUsualRoutineAndFood
#MyAppetiteIsNotGreatAndIAmNotAbleToBuyThingsThatIUsuallyLikeToEat
#AndIThinkNotHavingMyUsualEatingRoutineMayHaveContributedToMySickness
#ButHopefullyEverythingIsOkay
#AndICanEnjoyTheLastCoupleOfDaysOfSunAndVitaminD

Don’t Touch My Belly (14 and a half weeks)

#14AndAHalfWeeks
#IWentToWrite13AndThenIHadToThinkAboutIt
#IAmTryingToNotMakeEveryPhotoShootAboutMyBellyButItIsKindOfWhereTheActionIsHappening
#IDefinitelyHaveABumpNow
#EvenIfSomeOfItIsFoodAndTrappedWind
#ThereIsDefinitelyABellyGrowingThereSlowly
#TheChildWillBeHalfPortuguese
#WellTiagoIsABritishCitizenNowSoHeIsPortugueseBritishSoThatMessesUpTheMathsABit
#ButToMeTheChildWillBeHalfPortuguese
#AndHopefullyOneDayIWillGetPortugueseCitizenship
#ButAnywaysThePortugueseCultureIsABitDifferentToTheBritish
#TheyAreVeryTouchyInGeneral
#ThisWeekIHeardStoriesOfRandomPeopleTouchingYourBump
#ItIsBadEnoughHavingMyPortugueseFamilyTryingToTouchIt
#IToldOneMemberOffAndOnOurGoodbyeSheWentForIt
#EspeciallyAsISpentTheVisitBeingSoIllAndSickAndGrim
#AndIHaveNeverBeenFondOfMyStomachAnyways
#SoHavingItTouchedByPeopleIsSoAwkwardForMe
#AFriendAtLunchReachedOutAndTouchedAndIJustSatThereStillInShock
#TiagoToldThemToBeCarefulAsIBite
#IAmLikingHavingABumpAndIAmLookingForwardToSeeingItGrow
#IJustDoNotLikeAllTheAttentionThatItBrings
#IAmThinkingThatIfPeopleTouchMyBellyThenIWillHaveToTouchTheirsBackToSendAMessage
#YeahAwkwardAndAHalf
#IWouldNotTouchPeoplesBelliesWithoutAsking
#NotThatIWouldThinkOfAskingEitherAsItIsAllAwkwardToMe
#HoweverWhenAFriendWasPregnantACoupleOfYearsAgoTheBabyWasKickingAndSheAskedMeIfIWantedToFeel
#BecauseSheAskedMeAndIWasIntriguedISaidYes
#SoMaybeIMightInvitePeopleToTouchMyBellyAtSomePointButPleaseDoNotTouchItOrAskMeTo
#AsIHateSayingNoButIProbablyWillAndThenWeWillBothFeelAwkwardWhichIsNotNice

A Baby The Size Of An Apple (15 weeks)

#SoOBebeIs15WeeksAndTheSizeOfAnApple
#IToldMyselfThatIWouldNotTakeAnyPicturesOfMyselfWithFruitOrVegetables
#ButHereWeAre
#ILikeApplesSoIfIAmGoingToBreakMyRulesThenItMightAsWellBeForAnApple
#AnotherAppSaysItIsAPeachButAllTheAppsAndSitesSayDifferentThings
#ApparentlyItCanStartToHearSingingSoMeAndTiagoHaveBeenTryingToSingToMyBelly
#IAmABitWorriedThatTheNeighboursCanHearUsScreechingAway
#ApparentlyBy20WeeksTheBabyWillHaveDoubledInSize
#IAmGettingALotOfCrampsSoIAmGuessingThatIsTheBabyGrowing
#SoonIShouldBeAbleToFeelItMoveWhichIsACrazyThought
#IStillAssociateCrampsWithPeriodsSoItStillWeirdsMeOut
#MorePeopleKnowIAmPregnantNow
#ILoveHowEveryoneNeedsToTellMeToRestEatAndDrinkPlenty
#NonAlcoholicDrinksOfCourse
#ItIsNotLikeIGotPregnantAndThenDecidedToStopSleepingEatingAndDrinking
#IKnowPeopleAreJustTryingToBeHelpfulAndSupportive
#ButItIsLikePeopleTellingMeToMakeSureIRememberToBreathe
#IOrderedAMaternityPillowAndIAmHopingItArrivesSoon
#ItIsEarlyDaysButIFeelLikeINeedOne
#IAmASideSleeperButItGetsUncomfortableAndITurnOverManyTimes
#IAlsoFeelLikeINeedToHugSomething
#ICanNotRememberTheLastTimeIFellAsleepHuggingABigTeddyBear
#ButThatIsWhatIFeelLikeINeed
#IStillForgetIAmPregnantSometimes
#OrIStillFindTheThoughtWeird
#IKeepThinkingThatSomethingBadWillHappen
#AsIStillCanNotImagineMeWithABabyAndInSomewaysItDoesNotFeelMeantToBe
#ButObviouslyIHopeItIsMeantToBeAndThatEverythingElseIsFine
#IAmGettingQuiteIntoStretchingInTheMorningsNow